I struck straight into the heath; I held on to a hollow I saw deeply furrowing the brown moorside; I waded knee-deep in its dark growth; I turned with its turnings,and finding a moss-blackened granite crag in a hidden angle,I sat down under it. High banks of moor were about me; the crag protected my head: the sky was over that.
Some time passed before I felt tranquil even here: I had a vague dread that wild cattle might be near,or that some sportsman or poacher might discover me. If a gust of wind swept the waste,I looked up,fearing it was the rush of a bull; if a plover whistled,I imagined it a man. Finding my apprehensions unfounded,however,and calmed by the deep silence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall,I took confidence. As yet I had not thought; I had only listened,watched,dreaded; now I regained the faculty of reflection.
What was I to do? Where to go? Oh,intolerable questions,when I could do nothing and go nowhere!- when a long way must yet be measured by my weary,trembling limbs before I could reach human habitation- when cold charity must be entreated before I could get a lodging: reluctant sympathy importuned,almost certain repulse incurred,before my tale could be listened to,or one of my wants relieved!
I touched the heath: it was dry,and yet warm with the heat of the summer day. I looked at the sky; it was pure: a kindly star twinkled just above the chasm ridge. The day fell,but with propitious softness; no breeze whispered. Nature seemed to me benign and good;
I thought she loved me,outcast as I was; and I,who from man could anticipate only mistrust,rejection,insult,clung to her with filial fondness. To-night,at least,I would be her guest,as I was her child: my mother would lodge me without money and without price. I had one morsel of bread yet: the remnant of a roll I had bought in a town we passed through at noon with a stray penny- my last coin. I saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and there,like jet beads in the heath: I gathered a handful and ate them with the bread. My hunger,sharp before,was,if not satisfied,appeased by this hermit"s meal. I said my evening prayers at its conclusion,and then chose my couch.