Where did I go? I pursued wanderings as wild as those of the March-spirit. I sought the Continent，and went devious through all its lands. My fixed desire was to seek and find a good and intelligent woman，whom I could love: a contrast to the fury I left at Thornfield-"

"But you could not marry，sir."

"I had determined and was convinced that I could and ought. It was not my original intention to deceive，as I have deceived you. I meant to tell my tale plainly，and make my proposals openly: and it appeared to me so absolutely rational that I should be considered free to love and be loved，I never doubted some woman might be found willing and able to understand my case and accept me，in spite of the curse with which I was burdened."

"Well，sir?"

"When you are inquisitive，Jane，you always make me smile. You open your eyes like an eager bird，and make every now and then a restless movement，as if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for you，and you wanted to read the tablet of one"s heart. But before I go on，tell me what you mean by your "Well，sir?" It is a small phrase very frequent with you; and which many a time has drawn me on and on through interminable talk: I don"t very well know why."

"I mean,- What next? How did you proceed? What came of such an event?"

"precisely! and what do you wish to know now?"

"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you; and what she said."

"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked，and whether I asked her to marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate. For ten long years I roved about，living first in one capital，then another: sometimes in St. petersburg; oftener in paris; occasionally in Rome，Naples，and Florence. provided with plenty of money and the passport of an old name，I could choose my own society: no circles were closed against me. I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies，French countesses，Italian signoras，and German grafinnen. I could not find her. Sometimes，for a fleeting moment，I thought I caught a glance，heard a tone，beheld a form，which announced the realisation of my dream: but I was presently undeceived. You are not to suppose that I desired perfection，either of mind or person. I longed only for what suited me- for the antipodes of the Creole: and I longed vainly. Amongst them all I found not one whom，had I been ever so free，I- warned as I was of the risks，the horrors，the loathings of incongruous unions- would have asked to marry me. Disappointment made me reckless. I tried dissipation-never debauchery: that I hated，and hate. That was my Indian Messalina"s attribute: rooted disgust at it and her restrained me much，even in pleasure. Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to approach me to her and her vices，and I eschewed it.

"Yet I could not live alone; so I tried the panionship of mistresses. The first I chose was Celine Varens- another of those steps which make a man spurn himself when he recalls them. You already know what she was，and how my liaison with her terminated. She had two successors: an Italian，Giacinta，and a German，Clara; both considered singularly handsome. What was their beauty to me in a few weeks?