"I am Jane Eyre."

"I have had more trouble with that child than any one would believe. Such a burden to be left on my hands- and so much annoyance as she caused me，daily and hourly，with her inprehensible disposition，and her sudden starts of temper，and her continual，unnatural watchings of one"s movements! I declare she talked to me once like something mad，or like a fiend- no child ever spoke or looked as she did; I was glad to get her away from the house. What did they do with her at Lowood? The fever broke out there，and many of the pupils died. She，however，did not die: but I said she did- I wish she had died!"

"A strange wish，Mrs. Reed; why do you hate her so?"

"I had a dislike to her mother always; for she was my husband"s only sister，and a great favourite with him: he opposed the family"s disowning her when she made her low marriage; and when news came of her death，he wept like a simpleton. He would send for the baby; though I entreated him rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its maintenance. I hated it the first time I set my eyes on it- a sickly，whining，pining thing! It would wail in its cradle all night long- not screaming heartily like any other child，but whimpering and moaning. Reed pitied it; and he used to nurse it and notice it as if it had been his own: more，indeed，than he ever noticed his own at that age. He would try to make my children friendly to the little beggar: the darlings could not bear it，and he was angry with them when they showed their dislike. In his last illness，he had it brought continually to his bedside; and but an hour before he died，he bound me by vow to keep the creature. I would as soon have been charged with a pauper brat out of a workhouse: but he was weak，naturally weak. John does not at all resemble his father，and I am glad of it: John is like me and like my brothers- he is quite a Gibson. Oh，I wish he would cease tormenting me with letters for money! I have no more money to give him: we are getting poor. I must send away half the servants and shut up part of the house; or let it off. I can never submit to do that- yet how are we to get on?

Two-thirds of my ine goes in paying the interest of mortgages. John gambles dreadfully，and always loses- poor boy! He is beset by sharpers: John is sunk and degraded- his look is frightful- I feel ashamed for him when I see him."