"Would I be quiet and talk rationally?"

"I would be quiet if he liked，and as to talking rationally，I flattered myself I was doing that now."

He fretted，pished，and pshawed. "Very good," I thought; "you may fume and fidget as you please: but this is the best plan to pursue with you，I am certain. I like you more than I can say; but I"ll not sink into a bathos of sentiment: and with this needle of repartee I"ll keep you from the edge of the gulf too; and，moreover，maintain by its pungent aid that distance between you and myself most conducive to our real mutual advantage."

From less to more，I worked him up to considerable irritation; then，after he had retired，in dudgeon，quite to the other end of the room，I got up，and saying，"I wish you good-night，sir," in my natural and wonted respectful manner，I slipped out by the side-door and got away.

The system thus entered on，I pursued during the whole season of probation; and with the best success. He was kept，to be sure，rather cross and crusty; but on the whole I could see he was excellently entertained，and that a lamb-like submission and turtle-dove sensibility，while fostering his despotism more，would have pleased his judgment，satisfied his mon sense，and even suited his taste less.

In other people"s presence I was，as formerly，deferential and quiet; any other line of conduct being uncalled for: it was only in the evening conferences I thus thwarted and afflicted him. He continued to send for me punctually the moment the clock struck seven; though when I appeared before him now，he had no such honeyed terms as "love" and "darling" on his lips: the best words at my service were "provoking puppet," "malicious elf," "sprite," "changeling," etc.

For caresses，too，I now got grimaces; for a pressure of the hand，a pinch on the arm; for a kiss on the cheek，a severe tweak of the ear. It was all right: at present I decidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender. Mrs. Fairfax，I saw，approved me: her anxiety on my account vanished; therefore I was certain I did well.